AUSTRIAN DEATH MACHINE

"Double Brutal" (Metal Blade; 2009)

Reviewed by Mike SOS

When will it end? Tim Lambesis returns with his brand of Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation metal on Austrian Death Machine’s double album aptly titled "Double Brutal."

The first disc contains 13 new metal jams served with a wink and a nod thanks to the subject matter and the rapidly getting stale Ahhnold vocalizations while the second disc tackles a slew of material from bands such as Megadeth, Metallica, and The Misfits.

Supercharged with a slew of guest guitarists whose spicy solos downright save this beaten to death formula of dreadful skits in between songs with paint-yourself-in-a-corner topics, the time is ticking on the relevance and overall funniness of this project, yet it does manage to illicit a couple of chuckles in between flashes of crossover metal durability (“Who Told You You Could Eat My Cookies?”).

Despite exhibiting twice the muscle and might as the last disc, Austrian Death Machine’s tired act is growing staler by the minute and losing steam just as fast.

For more information, check out http://www.myspace.com/austriandeathmachine

"Total Brutal" (Metal Blade; 2008)

Reviewed by Metal Mark

Have you ever wished that someone would make an album in which every song was based on an Arnold Scwharzenegger movie? No? Well, me neither and I am a fan of his movies. However, Tim Lambesis of As I Lay Dying obviously had some spare time on his hands and he took on this project and even played all the instruments on the first version of the songs (but called in additional musicians to help tighten up the final version). So each song is based on an Arnold film and often based on actual lines from the film and it's set to thrash/death metal with the appropriate growling and screaming vocals shoved in. 

This is a joke album and we all know that and it makes no attempt to be anything else. Maybe this joke would have been funny around, say, 1991 before it was completely old. Yes, Arnold was not a good actor and he thrived on one-liners in overblown action films and we all knew that, but all that has been spoofed, laughed at and done and done again long before the 1990s were even over. 

Perhaps this album is a bit more of a laughing tribute than the typical jokes because Lambesis might be of the same age as many of us who sat there watching these films over and over. Yet still this whole idea is as fresh as stale popcorn from the dollar theater. The music is basic and heavy and the lyrics include verses to sing along because if you know the movie then you know the lines. 

It's great that Lambesis is doing a project that he wants to; it's just a very dated idea. Quite honestly, if I want to laugh or enjoy an Arnold movie or do both at the same time then I'll watch the movie and skip this rather mediocre CD.

For more information, check out http://www.myspace.com/austriandeathmachine

Rating Guide:

A classic. This record will kick your ass.

Killer. Not a classic but it will rock your world.

So-so. You've heard better.

Pretty bad. Might make a nice coaster.

Self explanatory. Just the sight of the cover makes you wanna hurl.

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Copyright © 2009 by R. Scott Bolton. All rights reserved.
Revised: 09 Apr 2017 12:09:59 -0400.