HARLOW

"Harlowland" (Self-produced)

Reviewed by Alicia Downs

Harlow is easily forgettable. In case you've already forgot them, they were that "chick" band from the VH1 show, "Bands On The Run." With the exception of the fact that they were a band full of "chicks" there was nothing there to note musically or otherwise.

Being that everyone thinks they can make something of reality TV success, Harlow worked their magic and have released "Harlowland" - a twelve song combination that's about as pathetic as "Bands on the Run" was (which in itself was so lame VH1 doesn't even air reruns of it - and that is bad considering how many times they've re-run the Tony Orlando "Behind the Music" program).

Songs that were featured on the program, like "Mike Hunt" and "Static Cling," all grace the album. Are they all as bad as they were on the show? Yes. Do they make you want to use the CD as a weapon against the band in the name of sweet justice? Hell, yes. Do you have any idea what I'm talking about? Probably not. But it doesn't really matter because all you have to know is that I'm pretty damned agitated that I wasted 42 minutes and 27 seconds of my life listening to this shit.

Bottom-line: do not purchase this CD. Furthermore, if someone hands you this CD, I implore you to throw it back in their face and maybe spit at them in the process because it is clear that they probably don't like you.

Oh, I should probably at least mention that Pat Smear produced this. Not that that makes any differences in my opinion anyway. I never liked him in the Foo Fighters either. 

If you feel the need, you can go to Harlow's website to tell them how much they suck you can do so by going here: http://www.harlowland.com

The people to blame for this mess are: Amanda Rootes (vocals); Rayshele Teige (guitar); Chimene Gonzalez (bass); and Rebecca Gibb (drums).

Rating Guide:

A classic. This record will kick your ass.

Killer. Not a classic but it will rock your world.

So-so. You've heard better.

Pretty bad. Might make a nice coaster.

Self explanatory. Just the sight of the cover makes you wanna hurl.

 

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Revised: 06 Mar 2016 12:13:39 -0500 .