"Cruisin' With the Masters" (Devils Head Records; 2001)

Reviewed by R. Scott Bolton

It's hard (pun unintended) not to like a band called Sweatpant Boners. And chances are you will.

Sweatpant Boners remind me most of Tenacious D but there are a couple of big differences. First, Tenacious D, in addition to being hilarious, play some truly killer music, mostly on acoustic guitars. Sweatpant Boners are adequate musicians and songwriters, but only just. And their guitars are electric, except for track #7, "Fire (acoustic death metal"). Second, although Tenacious D can be outrageous and offensive, they don't hold a candle to Sweatpant Boners who - if Tipper Gore and the Washington Wives had their way - would be slapped with a big fat X-rating and sold only to those over 18.

Just a brief listing of various song titles will give you an idea of what you're in for:
"Save Your Virginity ('til We Get to Your Town)"
"Her Respectable Holes"
"Number 2"
"Pee With Your Father"
"Singing Heavy Metal with a Mouth Full of Cereal"

See? You get the idea, right?

The lyrics, as previously mentioned, are raw and filthy. Often funny, but not the kind of stuff you can listen to with mom in the car. Two of the tracks are pseudo covers: "Always a Woman" and the very violent (but also funny) "I Will Survive."

If you're looking for a quick, raunchy laugh, Sweatpant Boners will do the trick.

Sweatpant Boners: Robbie Roadsteamer - vocals; Peaches (aka Baby D) - bass; Adam D - Drums; Kenny Metal - guitar.

For more information, check out http://www.sweatpantboners.com

Rating Guide:

A classic. This record will kick your ass.

Killer. Not a classic but it will rock your world.

So-so. You've heard better.

Pretty bad. Might make a nice coaster.

Self explanatory. Just the sight of the cover makes you wanna hurl.


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Copyright 2003 by R. Scott Bolton. All rights reserved.
Revised: 11 Sep 2022 13:46:21 -0400 .