"Noisy Songs for Noisy Kids" (Self-released; 2005)

Reviewed by R. Scott Bolton

The Thunderlords proudly advertise themselves as the first heavy metal band for children and, as you listen to their CD, "Noisy Songs for Noisy Kids," you realize that -- whether they're the first or not -- they are definitely for kids. Not only are the song titles and lyrics aimed at children ("I Like Dirt," "Night of the Living Lunch" and "Eat Vegetables," for example), but the music is simple to the point of distraction. If Sesame Street had a heavy metal band made up of Muppets, they'd probably sound like The Thunderlords.

Since the Thunderlords' music is aimed at children, the band doesn't have to be particularly good musicians, songwriters or singers - and they're not. The songs on this CD are as sloppy and as silly as they can possibly be. Will you like it? Probably not. Will your kids like it? Maybe, If they're age six and under. The band's "Eat Vegetables" (a tale about healthy eating set to the tune of Iron Maiden's "Run to the Hills") recently made the best-seller list on iTunes, so somebody out there likes what they hear.

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Rating Guide:

A classic. This record will kick your ass.

Killer. Not a classic but it will rock your world.

So-so. You've heard better.

Pretty bad. Might make a nice coaster.

Self explanatory. Just the sight of the cover makes you wanna hurl.

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Copyright 2005 by R. Scott Bolton. All rights reserved.
Revised: 18 Sep 2023 21:51:19 -0400.