"We Wish You a Hairy Christmas" (KOCH)

Reviewed by R. Scott Bolton

The sticker on the front of this CD tells it all: "80's Metal Rules!!" 

This collection Christmas songs are performed by some of the biggest bands of the 80s, including WARRANT, DANGER DANGER, ENUFF Z'NUFF, L.A. GUNS, BULLETS BOYS, TUFF, PRETTY BOY FLOYD and more. 

The aforementioned sticker also claims "...your favorite Christmas classics as belted out by ..." but that's not really the case. Of the 11 tracks on the CD, five are songs written by the bands, while the balance are indeed Christmas songs you've probably heard before. No big deal, really, since all of the songs rock in that bombastic 80s fashion, and fans of the bands contained hereon are probably fans of the other bands as well so everyone's happy.

The best tracks on the CD are Danger Danger's delightfully daffy "Naughty Naughty Xmas," Tuff's rough edged "Jingle Bell Rock," Gilby Clarke's rendition of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" 

Lesser successful numbers include the Bullet Boys sappy "Everyday Should be Like Christmas," the even sappier "Won't Be Home For Xmas" by Every Mother's Nightmare and the bizarre "Happy Family" by Pretty Boy Floyd. And I'm somewhat suspicious of Faster Pussycat's actual involvement considering that the CD claims that Taime Downe played "everything" on "Silent Night" and that particular track sounds like it was recorded in someone's home studio.

If you're looking for holiday music with a little more edge, you're probably better off with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra or, my personal favorite, Gary Hoey. Still, if you like a little cheese with your Christmas carols, then "We Wish You a Hairy Christmas" is probably just what you're looking for.

Rating Guide:

A classic. This record will kick your ass.

Killer. Not a classic but it will rock your world.

So-so. You've heard better.

Pretty bad. Might make a nice coaster.

Self explanatory. Just the sight of the cover makes you wanna hurl.

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Copyright 2003 by R. Scott Bolton. All rights reserved.
Revised: 04 Oct 2018 19:54:50 -0400.